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From the suffering I come
Bleeding through the eyes,
The hope is now gone
Drowned in your cries.
A sudden scream, the agony’s so loud,
You drop to your knees,
Pray to God to help you out,
But once again, He has let you down.

Not able to move,
Not able to speak,
Life is so cruel,
And always was, it seems.
You’ve lost your will,
You’re getting weak,
Your body has collapsed
And so have your dreams.
Your mind gives up,
But you still want to fight,
Strength seeps out through your wrists
So you just fall down.

Then comes the peace,
So desired and calm.
Your head is now empty
And so is your heart.
There’s no more pain,
No memories, nor hopes.
Just me,
Sweet and bright,
Settling down in your mind.

Hello dear,
It’s me,
Your new I

INSANITY
...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrosydawn527:
RosyDawn527 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013   Writer
You portray insanity as something sudden, uncontrollable, and painful.
Reply
:iconweroni:
weroni Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is really moving! I don't read a lot of poetry on deviantart, but this deserves a fav!
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
thank you, i'm flattered :)
Reply
:iconwillis-crisp:
Willis-Crisp Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Student Writer
This has a really nice pace to it, I can read it quickly and get a feel for the 'insanity' aspect of it. Some excellent metaphors in there too like, "strength seeps out through your wrists". From a purely opinionated point of view I'd have liked to have got past all the imagery to begin with and drop the reader straight in the unknown, thereby reinforcing the insanity. A great, deep poem overall though :)
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013
thank you so much for your comments. i really appreciate your support :)
Reply
:iconwillis-crisp:
Willis-Crisp Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013
this is real awesome and true at times
Reply
:iconlilithmae1231:
Lilithmae1231 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very nice; I like your choice of words, the way it flows, the imagery and emotions it evokes in me. Very good writing.

Two things though: in the second line of the first stanza, I think 'Bleeding' would make a bit more sense,
and in the second stanza, considering this line: Your body has collapsed, I think the next one should be And so have your dreams. instead of did.

That's just my opinion, though; and you are, of course, more that welcome to ignore the heck out me. :XD:
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
thank you for your comment. i will change it, the thing is English is not my first language and i still make mistakes like that sometimes :P

i'm glad you like it anyway :)
Reply
:iconlilithmae1231:
Lilithmae1231 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I get that; English isn't my first language either. It happens. :)
And you're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconsleepingwithinsomnia:
SleepingWithInsomnia Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is wonderful, INsanITY for some reason is like my favorite topic to write about
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013
i'm glad you like it :)
Reply
:iconsleepingwithinsomnia:
SleepingWithInsomnia Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yesss it was really awesome!
Reply
:iconmoontiger5:
moontiger5 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Insanity sweet and bright, how kindly welcoming, eh? *smirk*
Reply
:iconhaakon95:
haakon95 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
Deep intresseting and stunning
where did u get the insperation? ^^
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
my life is my inspiration. it was never easy for me and sometimes i just feel like giving up, like insanity is taking over me. i still manage to get up, but i do know what it feels like to be hopeless and alone and so i write about it, it helps :)
Reply
:iconhaakon95:
haakon95 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
thats a really sad story but im glad u are ableto create this kinds of things of the pain c:
Reply
:iconerraticdream:
ErraticDream Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is a really good poem! I wrote a certain poem, but it doesn't have many comments. I'd really like to know how to improve. I've asked for feedback, but so far, I haven't gotten much.
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:iconcamilah:
camilah Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
I feel like the first lines of this poem. Very cool written:)
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:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
thank you for the comment :)
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:iconcamilah:
camilah Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
Most welcome
Reply
:iconf-lagerdahl:
F-Lagerdahl Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Professional Photographer
Lovely piece, I have to say I will place this one as a bookmark, it's really touching and in all honesty most of us can see ourselves in this, always some time in life you will end up in a state of mind close to this.
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
thank you for the comment, i really appreciate your kind words :)
if you have time feel free to check out my other poems and maybe share your opinions about them as well :)
Reply
:iconcobaltofmarch:
CobaltOfMarch Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
I guess life can lead one to insanity at times (or most of the times). It's so hard to achieve your goals and to see your dreams come true nowadays, and sometimes it keeps on raining on the same spot! I think this poem explains the concept perfectly well.
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
thank you for the comment. very appreciated :)
Reply
:iconaloisebrennan:
AloiseBrennan Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. It reads so smoothly and the the way you put the ending makes insanity actually feel like peace :) Very nice!
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
thank you :)
Reply
:iconaloisebrennan:
AloiseBrennan Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconcarminedevian:
CarmineDevian Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student Writer
I guess everything we write has to do with us, sometimes more and sometimes less. I really like that one
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
i agree. i think poetry always come from within, more or less :D i'm glad you like it
Reply
:iconcarminedevian:
CarmineDevian Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student Writer
youre welcome =)
Reply
:iconcaroline1539:
Caroline1539 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmm....Is this about you? I like it!
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
i'm glad you do :) i'm not sure who is it about, i guess it is partially about me... the difference is that i haven't gave up yet :)
Reply
:iconcaroline1539:
Caroline1539 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Good for you! :)
Reply
:iconbamboost:
Bamboost Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist
This is easy to read,but if one tries to understand the deepness in it, it's needed to read it a few times. In my opinion you did a great job. The feeling of insanity comes up and I like the flow of the verses.
Reply
:icondbutterfly1969:
DButterfly1969 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013
thank you, i'm glad you like it, and i'm also glad i achieved what i wanted with it :)
Reply
:iconskae7:
Skae7 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student General Artist
really great fluency in that text!
Reply
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